This story was supposed to be about 9/11. After doing a lot of research I realized that my personal story about 9/11 demonstrated a lot of what happened that day. I really like how I explored switching between the two different points of view. That was something I had not tried before and I thought that for a first try I did really well with it. There are a few things that need to be changed like making the switch less abrupt. I think I need to work on making the switch better, so the reader isn't confused. I also think I could work on making the dialogue more effective while being entertaining and meaningful.
Story-
“Tonight you have a signing in Midtown and you’re going to perform one or two songs. Tomorrow you have the Today Shows so you will need to be in hair and makeup at 6:00 am the latest. Thursday is a travel day and Friday you have your show in Austin. Remember I’m bringing my niece with me tonight and tomorrow. I can’t go with you to Austin because I have to go to the Bahamas with Pitbul, but Roslin is going with you to Austin. I will be in constant contact with her, but this will be her first time without me so have patience.” My aunt sighed and looked at Mario. He just nodded in agreement. “Great. Now we need to get you to your fitting. Let me grab…”
“Hilda! Mario! Roslin! Everyone come to the conference room now! A plane has hit the twin towers!”
* * *
I picked up a purple crayon and checked the tip. Turned my 64 color crayon box around and stuck the tip into the crayon sharpener. Twist. Twist. Twist. I checked the tip again. Stuck the crayon back into the box twisted one more time and began to color.
“Can you hand me the crayons?” my sister said out stretching her hand towards the crayon box. I handed her the box without looking up. She was three, almost four, and I was seven. We sat on the ice cold concrete floor in the living room of my grandmothers Manhattan apartment, while she watched soap opera reruns in Spanish. My father was out for a run and my mother was getting coffee with some coworkers at Starbucks. We were in the city visiting family and celebrating my sister’s birthday. In just a few days she would be four and we would be heading back to Rochester. Her to daycare, me to school and my parents back to work, but for now though we were enjoying our time in the city.
I put the purple away and picked up a sky blue. I looked out the window at the blue sky that seemed to stretch on forever. I saw two birds fly right across the blue sky; put down my blue crayon grabbed a grey and began to draw two birds into the sky of my picture. As I finished with my second bird the phone began to rings. My grandmother got up and answered the phone. I couldn’t tell what she was saying but I could tell there was panic in her voice. She looked at the two of us coloring and then began frantically looking for the remote. As she was looking for the remote, her cell phone started to ring. My sister and I looked at each other. My grandmother only talked to three people, her children. What’s the coincidence they were calling at the same time? I picked up her cell phone, and looked at the little screen. It was my mom.
“Hello,” I said.
* * *
“No. Los Twin Towers,” my aunt repeated into the phone. “Los Twin Towers. Los dos altas torres cerca de Battery Park.” There was a pause. My aunt nodded a few times and then rolled her eyes. “Mami, Encienda la television.” The sounds of sirens filled the conference room, and then faded just in time for more sirens to fill the room. Looking out the floor to ceiling windows, the city looked anything, but calm. Looking out at Madison Ave, people were moving with blank stares and great urgency. Miles away from the true chaos, disbelief coated the streets. Up on the 78th floor everyone was still confused about what had really happened. They watched the live feed on the computers and watched out the windows trying to piece together what was happening.
“Oh. My. God. Look!” Roslyn screamed pointing at the computer screen. Everyone huddled around to see the second plane hit the other tower. All of a sudden silence fell in the room and everyone stood stunned. All you could hear was everyone’s shallow breathing and sirens racing past the building.
“Are we even safe up here?” Mario was looking out the window at the chaos down below. “Everyone seems to be leaving their buildings. Look.”
My aunt walked across the room to the windows and looked straight across. Sure enough, all the windows in the building across the street had curtains pulled, but no one was in sight. She looked down the building at the building entrance. Little dots filled hurriedly out of the building dispersing in different directions as soon as they exited. Some went towards train stations, some towards the parking garage, but most stood taking in the scene their body statures radiating panic.
“Let’s get down from here. Just to be safe,” RJ, another Sony Music promoter, said, “in case something happens?”
Everyone grabbed their bags and exited the conference room in silence. As they got closer to the elevators, they noticed they weren’t the only ones with the same instinct. The elevators were crowded with people, employees and musicians alike. Mario tapped my aunts shouldered and gestured towards the stairs. My aunt grabbed Roslyn’s wrist and the two followed suit towards the staircase.
* * *
My mom had told us that a plane had hit the twin towers, the same reason my aunt had called. A small bit of chaos had erupted in the living room. My grandmother realized that my mom was right around there at the Starbucks and she had gone into full panic mode. Watching on the television she was watching not to see what was going on, but more to see if she saw my mom. She had directed my mom to leave the area and go far away, but she feared my mom wouldn’t make it.
The broadcast had cut away from the scene and was now only giving verbal updates. My sister and I didn’t know how to react. My grandmother had called my uncle who was overseas with his band and was telling him the same updates that the broadcaster was telling us. I wanted to continue coloring my picture, but I wasn’t sure if my mom was okay or not. My grandmother continued talking to my uncle and then her cell phone rang. I picked up the big phone and answered it.
“Hello. Mom?” I listened closely. There were a lot of muffled sounds in the background. Finally I heard my mom speak,
“Amanda?”
“Yes Mommy. Where are you? Abuela is really scared.” I looked at my grandmother pointed to the phone in my hand and mouthed the word mom.
“I’m fine. Mrs. Duthiers and I are walking home now. The trains have already stopped running. It’s going to be a little while, but I wanted to let you know we are coming home.” She was breathing heavily so I assumed they were walking fast. “Tell Abuela not to worry.” I looked at my grandmother again.
“No te preocupes,” I said.
“¿Diez y diez?” my grandmother questioned.
“¿Diez y diez?” I repeated into the phone.
“Yes,” laughed my mom, “diez y diez.” I nodded at my grandmother and gave her a thumbs up. This was a little thing my grandmother would do. When my sister and I were really little and would fall she would do a quick check. Ten fingers and ten toes meant you were okay. Now it had become routine. When someone fell my grandmother would simply say “¿diez y diez?” and if the answer was yes there was no need for tears.
I hung up the phone with my mom and looked at my sister. She was still coloring slightly unfazed by everything.
“Claudi, Mom’s on her way home.” She just looked at me and smiled.
* * *
Once down the stairs we joined in with the silent chaos. The somber mood covered the streets like a blanket of dust. They walked down Madison Ave, with no purpose. As they followed crowds of people they found themselves at a local pub. Stopping in they joined the others. Everyone was watching the news on the televisions. One tower had fallen the other wasn’t looking too good. Everyone was so engrossed in what was happening no one noticed the singers that were standing in the back with them. Jaws half open, my aunt and a few other employees watched the drama unfolding just a few miles away. The silence was only broken by the news broadcasters and the ring of a few cell phones. Together they all watched the towers that embodied the city fall to the ground.
* * *
After what felt like forever the buzzer to my grandmother’s apartment buzzed. Jumping up my grandmother pressed the button opening the main door. We all went to the elevator and gathered around the elevator doors. As the doors opened my mom walked out and my sister and I jumped into her out stretched arms. Squeezing her tightly I could hear my grandmother sniffling and fighting back tears. Looking up at my mom I noticed she too was fighting back tears.
“Let’s go into the apartment,” my mom suggested. Grabbing my hand my mom led us into the apartment and sat down on the couch releasing a huge sigh of relief.
* * *
After the second tower fell, everyone started to panic. Slowly people decided it was time to head home and hopefully find their loved ones waiting for them untouched by the disaster. *man run by ashed*
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