blog 9

In my original I really liked the story line, but when I was rereading ym first draft I realized that there was a lot of things that I could add in to enhance my descriptions. I liked how I had described Emma, but I had only mentioned some things not everything like when I described her face I mentioned her smile, but not her eyes. In my rewrite I tried to enhance the descriptions. I looked at a picture of Emma and wrote my descriptions while looking at the picture. In my first draft I really liked the story line, so I kept that the same and just added a few more things in to make the whole Moxie idea complete. I think this story and the rewrite demostrates my growth with desrciptions and descriptive writing.