Reworking my Introduction

           “Tonight you have a signing in Midtown and you’re going to perform one or two songs. Tomorrow you have the Today Shows so you will need to be in hair and makeup at 6:00 am the latest. Thursday is a travel day and Friday you have your show in Austin. Remember I’m bringing my niece with me tonight and tomorrow. I can’t go with you to Austin because I have to go to the Bahamas with Pitbul, but Roslin is going with you to Austin. I will be in constant contact with her, but this will be her first time without me so have patience.” My aunt sighed and looked at Mario. He just nodded in agreement. “Great. Now we need to get you to your fitting. Let me grab…”
          “Hilda! Mario! Roslin! Everyone come to the conference room now! A plane has hit the twin towers!"

In my original introduction I tried to jump right into the story with some dialoge. I tried to make the introduction intriguing and jump into the action while giving enough detail to let the reader know what the story is about.

Describtion for emotional appeal- Running down the street came a man in a suit. There was a hole in the elbow of his right sleeve, and dried blood on his knees. His hands were covered in ash and his white shirt had grey smudges all over it. He made no gestured that showed he recognized the people around him. He ran with intent in his eyes, expressionless. As he ran by everyone stared. He ran straight down the street and it seemed as if he was running from someone, or something. My aunt turned her head to follow him. He ran a few more feet to a women. She opened her arms and let out a loud cry. There they stood crying, embracing each other like they would never get a chance to hold each other again.

Question- What constitutes as normal? Is a normal day a day that is like every other or is it something else. Is the day normal if nothing excitileaving early and staying ng happens or is it boring? Is normal when I spend all day working and finish everything or is that just productive. What makes the day go from normal to not normal? Is it the difference between late? Or the difference between having the same lunch or something new? Whatever the difference between normal and not normal this day was nothing like I or anyone else had experienced before.

Recognition- For someone who prides themself on the neatness of her house and car, my aunt was suprisingly unorganized today. She had papers everywhere and sticky notes stuck all over the room. Coworkers passed her room and said hello, but she didn't hear them. She was drowning in her own clutter and needed to leave her office ten minutes ago. As she frantically looked through papers for the flight information Mario walked into her office.

Introduction to 9/11 Draft

“Tonight you have a signing in Midtown and you’re going to perform one or two songs. Tomorrow you have the Today Shows so you will need to be in hair and makeup at 6:00 am the latest. Thursday is a travel day and Friday you have your show in Austin. Remember I’m bringing my niece with me tonight and tomorrow. I can’t go with you to Austin because I have to go to the Bahamas with Pitbul, but Roslin is going with you to Austin. I will be in constant contact with her, but this will be her first time without me so have patience.” My aunt sighed and looked at Mario. He just nodded in agreement. “Great. Now we need to get you to your fitting. Let me grab…”

“Hilda! Mario! Roslin! Everyone come to the conference room now! A plane has hit the twin towers!”

Blog 1: And We're Off

Welcome to my blog, my name is Amanda and I am taking College Composition. When I'm not in school, I am dancing. I have danced since I was three years old and have been dancing competitively since I was seven. I dance at one of the top fifty dance studios nationwide and spend seven days a week at the studio.  My sister dances as well and at any given time you can find the furniture pushed against the walls and the two of us rehearsing together. My love of dance has lead to a love of music. There isn't a bad mood music cannot comfort or a good mood music cannot enhance. Coming from a musical family, there is always music playing in my house. If I'm not dancing I'm watching football. Born into a New York Jets family, I have fully embraced my green pride. I look forward to Sunday's to sit around and watch football with the family. I have one fear, bridges. I don't know where this fear came from, but my sister has the same fear too.

Readers can expect posts full of creative, colorful writing. I was wrongly put in this class, and should be in a creative writing class. I like exploring with different points of views and writing about things I feel passionate about. I hope to grow as a writer through this course to prepare me for college writing. I hope you enjoy my blog as I blog my way to college.